Looking through the Eyes: the Ophthamology

It is an unusual day today.

Sleeping soundly since dinner till now (9.30pm), sipping my favourite Jing Si Tea, playing my favourite playlist at the background as I type the story of a journey which has lasted for 4 weeks. 

When I have time for tea 

 There are many stories and experiences that I would love to put them down into words, but with my usual routine, I wonder when will be the next update in my blog.

 “Congratulations, you are the leader”….

 That was what written on the small sheet of paper which I have just taken by drawing lots for the selection of the next group leader for Ophthalmology posting.

I smiled quietly and told Cindy  before walking away that “I have a reason to be the leader”.

Of course I do.

Vincent said everything I do, I would have planned far ahead to benefit myself in whatever situation. I agree.

I dislike Ophthalmology and I cursed it really badly when I am in Semester 6.

I have no idea what the lecturer is talking and I have so much of phobia during the exam.

 I remembered how I mugged the answers for the MCQs from the past years just to cheat myself through during the Assessment exam.

I dislike that feeling of losing control and trying too hard but not getting back proportionally in return.

Hence, I have made a vow- The vow that I shall never be fearful to this subject anymore.

I read Khurana during Ortho posting and apply my knowledge by having discussion with Bernard and Jason who at that time were in Ophtha.

 I enjoyed the responsibility of Ophtha posting leader so that I know what is going on and make myself more aware of it.

 I seek help from Han Jie to teach me Anterior segment examination days before the posting start.

 I pushed myself to the maximum even on the first day class with Dr Rajiv until I almost annoyed him due to the hyperactivity.

I have never put so much of effort into one discipline like Ophthalmology after Internal Medicine.

A good breakfast before going for Short case exam. 

 Today, when I finished the posting and saw Dr Rajiv happy and proud expression, it was so rewarding and I felt so appreciated for the effort I put in.

I should say thank you now to the hatred and anger I have on Ophtha because it allow me to put in efforts to transform this negative feelings into passion and love for the subject.

 Results are not even out, but yet I have felt great sense of satisfaction, because it is already MY best, if I cannot reach THE best.

Delightful time after Portfolio Defence and signify the end of posting

Signing out, Ophthamology.

ps: wishing my peers a happy study break and let us win this war together called P2S2.

May all be well and happy.

Where did the water came from?

When I was asked, "Where did the drinking water came from? Is there a creator behind this creation?"

I was thinking, it is not possible to answer something I have not seen with my eyes, why not move forward instead and try to search for the answer,

Then, I will ask:

When I drink the water into my body and it becomes blood, who created the blood?"

"When the blood filtered by my kidney and become the urine, who created the urine?"

"When I excrete the urine and flowed down to the river, who created the river water?"

"When the river water evaporated and became the cloud, who created the cloud?"

"When the cloud pouring down the rain, who created the rain?"

"When the rain got purified and became the drinking water, who created the drinking water?"

 

If really something was created and exist, "

" Where are the drinking water when it is the blood?

Where is the blood when it is the urine?

Where is the urine when it is the river?

Where is the river when it is the cloud?

Where is the cloud when it is the rain?

Where is the rain when it is the drinking water?"

 

The beginning of one is the cessation of another. The cessation of one will be the beginning of another.

 

The interchange of element from one to another is the law of nature.

Some feels that this force of nature is controlled by someone or something that people name it as the 'creator', ‘supreme power’ and not less that name it as 'God'.

I understand this as the cause and effect.

 

But, how will this understanding of ‘where did this come from’ will made me a better person?

Can this understanding made us understand how to live well and better?

Probably it will probably it just not.

 

For me, I want to treasure more to these questions?

How can the water hydrate my body?

How my blood able to transport the oxygen effectively?

How my urine can excrete all the toxic products? How to made the river to be not polluted?

How the clouds can bring rain to places of draught?

How this rain can provide me a clean water to drink?

 

We ask so much about existence and life after existence.

 

Acknowledging it is important because it allows to understand our correlation with other subjects in this world.

But for me, what is more important is how to live harmoniously and inter-relate with all the subjects existing to bring our life more loving and compassionate.

 

May all be well and happy.

Manipal Chapter

What will come to an end, will eventually come when it is time.

What matters most is how you have made the best out of it…

Looking into my future in India

Started on 11^th September when I landed on Bangalore Airport welcomed by Mr Anand and then reached Mangalore Airport and received by Mr Ganesh.

Moving down the hilltop Mangalore airport, I prepare myself to face life for the next 2 and the half years that will come.

Without any clear idea about the future, I aspire to acquire some good values from this place in India from the Indians.

Expect Less, Always Feel Enough

Registered to the Rabindranath Tagore hostel.

A bit shocked with the condition, but somehow always something in me that say “Expect little, live simple, then you will always feel enough in life”.

My friends started hunting for groceries and I see people buy a lot of things.

I still remember how I keep things simple, I chose a set of 6 metal containers, and I decided the biggest will be my bowl and the smaller ones will be the plate and the smallest one will be my cup.

I also don’t like bringing tonnes of books and big bag to class. I always ask myself what I really need with that given amount of time. So it is usually a file, some notes I need and some pens in the pocket, that is purely sufficient and I am still doing that today.

I don’t like bringing bottle water with me, whenever I am thirsty, I will ask for a bowl in the food court and sit beside the water purifier and that is how I quench my thirst.

^{India teach me to live simple, stay humble, ask less, feel more}

I simply enjoy the sense of begging/ asking for a bowl because I can feel the great sense of gratitude owing to people kindness while drinking even though the water is free. It teaches me a lot about self-humility.

 The Greater You Are, The Smaller You Feel

Lecturers here are good in knowledge but they are better in showing you how to gain them on your own.

My first year, teachers like my Mentor myself, Ms Anitha, Dr Chandrika, Dr Guruprasad, Mr Raju, and endless list of names that not only made me adapt fast to this medical education, but they also build my perseverance and determination to stay strong and motivated

At this place (and so far only this place), the greater their knowledge, the more down to Earth they are.

I remembered once seeing Dr Somayaji squatting down to pick those weeds on the grass.

That incident enough to remind me that despite of having so much of great knowledge and pride, even when you put yourself lower down than others, you actually just gain more respect than losing them.

2^nd year was nothing less, with people like Dr Jessica, Dr Vinod, Dr Annama, Ms Debashree, Ms Smita…I would have not made it through without them easing the path.

Although less soft talk than the lecturers in 1^st year, it sort of urge me to be more independent and self-motivating when I face hurdles.

Finally, the time comes…

5^th Semester of 3^rd year.

Great men like Dr Santhosh and Dr M. G. Shenoy are people I have been silently observing since I am in MMMC.

Having them to finally teaching me gave me a great sense of completion to my life in Manipal.

“What the mind does not know, the eyes cannot see” is the saying always repeated by Dr Santhosh.

JPA Gang

The first gathering in India with the Gang of HRB was Hwan’s birthday.

The presence of this group of INTEC friends made me feel as if I am just not too far from home.

HRB Gang

During first year, dinner was mostly with one of the private student.

We never share any other common topic except studies, he find me boring with my philosophies, I do not find him lesser with topics I never comprehend, but somehow we became house mate later...

So, it is surely my pleasure and I am truly grateful to have him crossing my life. I accept what is lacking in me and I really amplify the good things in him.

Think Old, Feel Young

Juniors from Intec then came with my full anticipation.

Since 1^st year, I shifted out to stay with a BDS senior, I have only been to Mangalore for once and I just do not have much entertainment or outings as I used to in Shah Alam.

So, when they came, they sort of fill up what I have been missing in Manipal.

Hang out for dinner for nearly an hour at Cheff Inn was something I remember doing at the beginning.

But, what I cherish more is when today (when this post was written) I receive a letter from a Junior before he leave.

He remembered so clearly what we have gone through, and taking so fondly how much we have made up to each other’s life.

Dear friend, people like you, just made me feel so much of joy and appreciation in life and continue wanting to do good boundlessly.

 

Besides that, also to have another Junior that went through so much together in RC, to still have you in Manipal must be a great blessing for me.

There are some Juniors who are like my consultant when I need opinions, some Juniors that can just made me forget my tension and worries by hearing to them, and not too few of them that always inspire me with their great values.

Let memories and good thoughts keep to the bottom of my heart till we meet again.

Conclusion

Life here has been filled with ups and down, fullness and emptiness.

No place in India can bring so much of essence of living as such, which I am extremely grateful for this opportunity.

I hope everyone still in Manipal to have their life to be continuously enriched and inspired by the values people in India can bring into your life.

For those returning to Melaka, let us travel this journey together till the end.

To gain so much knowledge, along with great companionship by friends and local community in India made life in Manipal beyond just the goal of getting MBBS but more than that.

Goodbye Manipal.

 

An escape from 301 due to mosquito attack and return home to complete this piece.

5.05am 22/02/2014

-My Gita tells me that evil can never result from good action- (Gandhi)

When I am taught me not to kill or slaughter anyone even for the sake of the name of my religion itself,

I know I cannot also belittle and diminish others for the difference we have.

When I am taught there is actually no me and you, but it’s about I see me in you, and I see you in me,

I just know that my-religion and your-religion just make illusionary boundaries and interrupt peace.

The stand is that peaceful mind is the way to built our heart while sideling the non-us is the way to built wall in us.

A simple part I have written months back when suddenly the understanding strike me.

I write this in tribute to Gandhi with his annivessary of birth on 2nd Oct.

Not writing an autobiography of the Father of India, but anyone will see him the manifestation of peace beyond the boundary of religion and their background.

 

 

As I hope this land will always be bless with peace and harmony…

May all be well and happy!!

To Remember the Dead is to Care the Living

As it is written when I was still back in Kedah then….

Tomorrow morning, I will be leaving Kedah, thus ending my 4 days here.

I can still remember the days me and my cousin jumping on my grandfather’s bed and wrestle on each other.

At that time, I used to get asthma attack, after the play, I always have difficulty in breathing, so I immediately get out from the room and immediately sit down quietly beside my grandfather to watch TV before I continue again after that.

As for the later days, I enjoy cycling around the Malay village here using my Grandpa Antique Japanese Bicycle. I enjoy the friendliness and simple lifestyle around the neighbourhood, that I got so much chance to reflect a lot on the actual way to happiness is simply contentment.

Every time I am going to return back to Penang, my Grandfather will put up the same line that is to stay longer.

I can’t forget the way both my grandparents stood outside and wave back as we make our way home.

Not to forget, my Grandpa will force me to accept some Ringgits before I go back, as I will usually reject by saying my parents would not be happy if I take it, and he will raise his voice more this time asking me to keep it.

This time around, the same thing seems to happen. But, maybe a difference is I will get one lesser goodbye wave from my Grandma.

The 2 most important woman in my life

When my Grandmother still take control to the home kitchen, I will say that her home-made Char Siew Pau, Huan Chu Pau (Potato Bun) and her Chai Kueh are the best.

In the pain on her knee for many years, even the Dr must not have found out that here best pain reliever was to roll the dough and folding the dumplings for her grandchildren every time we return.

A dedicated and always be remembered Grandmother

I can’t thank God more for giving me the chance to take care of her in her last few years.

I won’t know if it has been my best, but if I am given another chance, I will still secretly hold her cold clammy wrinkled skin when she is sleeping and to accompany her when she always trusted me to hold her walking aid while she try to lift herself up and walk a few rounds around the house.

I always miss holding her hand to walk on her aid

Por Por once said, “Study well, don’t let your parents down, when you be a doctor, I might not be around anymore”. I always gave a quick reply not because the words didn’t get into me, I just do not want her to see my true-self how much I fear and sad I am if it is true.

This month mark her 1 year since she leave, I just hope to collect more good Karma for her to earn a better place in her after-life as much as she deserve.

Those who have left, accept it. Those who are still living, appreciate them.

I can’t miss the phone call to my Grandfather every Friday.

Though the conversation is usually with the same question, but I know it is different, that is that single day you still have them listening to you.

In the meditation, we breath in and out with the reflection of our ancestors and understand that they are in us, and we are in them. We are the new seeds the parent tree bear, as how the new trees grow from the seeds.

When will I come back to this place again?

It’s not important.

I cannot be stuck in the past and future.

May the living live well and happy, with all their loved ones appreciating each other.

May the departed ones under the light of Nirvana, to be never reborn into the realm of human.

 May all be well and happy!!

When Anat, Physio and Biochem is what we Learn

 

On Day 1, Orientation started.

The MMMC Dean introduced the faculty members.

The only one that captivated my attention is the Anatomy Faculty.

The Head of Department introduced was surprisingly young.

From a Malaysian student perception during school days, usually young teachers are inferior to the older ones in terms of knowledge and experience.

But, it was proven wrong as this does not happen in India.

In this 1 year, I have gone through with lecturer willing to spent their time long after office hours.

The spirit of work-to-serve has definitely inspired me to serve like them, though in another way.

In the afternoon, first class of our academic session begin.

HOD of Physiology came in and I can still remember she asked us to take out our Objective Book and write the word FOCUS on the front page. Initially, it sounded real childish.

She said in medicine, we must keep our goal and focus to be clear every day.

Later on, it remain as an important reminder for my every Block that I should not ever slack because every of the knowledge acquired have equal importance for now and future.

Our first Biochem lecturer started the lesson on amino acid, making me always thought she is the the HOD.

She said, if we spent our time by concentrating on studies, time in India will be flying so fast even without we realise it. Today, I know she is surely right about that.

I would mention one great soul that have play a larger role that besides teaching me Biochem in this 1 year, but also how to be a medical student.

She always said,

“You might escape with last-minute study, mugging everything before the exam, but how will it makes you a better doctor”.

If a medical student make full use of their study life in India, I am very sure, they do not only gain the basic knowledge to save a patient.

We will first learn how doctor should be a human (compassion), then ask this humane doctor to learn to treat his patient as a human like how he would treat for himself (empathy), which then only save him from pain and death (kindness), and if pain and death is still not running away, he must know how to teach the patient how to live with it (self-loving).

The person I am putting the last, but not the least is my Mentor.

Too much of great things a man can do as he has been always there for all other mentees whenever we are TRASHED! Thank you Sir!

My interest to Anatomy, Physiology and Biochemistry so so much would not have arise without all of these people.

Don’t think if I stop here, that is all I can portray about the effort of my lecturers they have put on every student.

The tribute of my teacher can only be paid back from my service.

“Guru kumhar shishya kumbha hai ghadi-ghadi kadhat kot bhitar haat sahar de bahar bahe chot”
Translation: A teacher scolds you for your mistakes but he also supports you to do your best. As a potter who beats the pot on the outer side to give a good shape and design while supporting the pot by putting a hand inside it.

Pray for the best for Pharma, Microb, Patho and Forensic to be Learnt

p.s Decided to have no names and personal photos for protecting privacy

My Secret Success: The 2 Zs

Not around in the cyber world since Uni fever begin…which followed by a short travelling with friends later…

A lot I should have said but I missed it throughout this period.

I just want to start my first piece of writing with a wish…a wish for my friends, Zs

A wish I might not be brave enough to tell it aloud except keeping it here as writing

May my study mate friends who didn’t make it to the end to be bestowed the strength and courage to continue their remaining journey,

You were always there for me every time I felt defeated by examination stress…

My fatigue and saturation of study period is relieve by just hanging out in either one of your room,

Your positive attitude have always made a call to me that it is not the end-of-the-world after all…Just smile =) and things will be alright…

You gave me a lot of peace and calmness.

You guys always make my hazy and tiring road clear and exciting

But now,

I suddenly realise you are not with me together anymore.

I am deeply wondering how it will be without you guys for the next station I am heading to.

Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul, I know that absolutely.

I know that nobody can understand the pain you have went through and going to get through except yourself.

But my friends,

Please hold on.

It might be a different journey we are now,

But we are on the same destination of goal

I am sure there will be a time,

When all of us will reach the peak together to fulfil our responsibilities.

Do not count the blessing which we have not gain, But subtract the blessing we have been given, then we will pay gratitude to the life we have.

As iman is your greatest strength, ibadah is your greatest practise, may you be granted the ability not only to get over this Ujian, but also in an amazing and a celebrated way.

p.s People just do not know how much friends actually have made the difference to my academic years in India, a chapter I want it to be forever engraved on my journey of acquiring the art of medicine.

May all be shown the way,

May all be strong.

See Others in Me, See Me in Others

You said you want to save life,

How can you when you do not understand,

That life is just filled of suffering,

Suffering and life is the basic of living.

 

You said you want to relieve suffering,

How can you when you do not understand,

Suffering is the nature of being,

Is by letting go we see suffering ceases.

 

You then now want to let go,

How can you when you do not understand,

Letting go is by letting go of that desire to let go itself,

Is by freeing the mind completely we free ourselves.

 

You have now free yourself,

Then you come to the understanding,

It takes as much as nothing to reach an empty mind,

As much as it takes almost everything to attain that,

As if in an emptiness it is actually full of space, and in a space it is actually full of emptiness.

This is the truth of liberation- Nirvana.

 

You have now empty the mind,

Then you come to the understanding,

An empty mind cannot suffer, and suffering do not arise in an empty mind,

Because an empty mind is a mind of letting go- letting go of the suffering.

 

You have now free yourself from suffering,

Then you come to the understanding,

You have not destroy suffering neither you have deny them,

It is because you have understood suffering that you stay above them,

And so you understood life.

 

A humble dedication to whomever with compassion to life,

The compassion to put life back into others,

We cannot make the sick free from suffering,

But we can make them to understand them- by contemplation,

It is by doing that they gain the freedom to live and be alive.

 

May all be well and happy!

May all be given the strength to brighten others life!

 

“ As a doctor you do not always get to heal, but even so, its fine, just that at least you can care, care for them, it matters.”

 

With metta and compassion from Manipal,

All homage to the Triple Gems for their protection for me and others.

21/05/2012

Only Once, Never Again, to have all of You

 

Life is so short…why wasting time on putting our attention to people and things that do not bring any good to us and others.

6 months…

From 11^th Sept until today, is my fastest pace I have ever went through

The fastest road of life I have ever taken in my life

(Photo credit to Taufiq: A photo taken in India during his tour)

I have learnt so many things and so many people I have know them better.

In this period of time, many hard choices have also been made.

Example, should I just continue this way of life? Is this what I am seeking for in my entire life? Do I just want to pass or to get as many distinctions or something more than that? Should I continue to call someone like these as my friends?

Thankfully, with parents, Dhamma, lecturers and friends, all these questions have been answered and accomplished well too.

Staying in the present…ponder upon the past… wonder about the future

(Another photo credit to Taufiq capturing a mesmerizing photo of another friend, Fakhrul)

I am grateful that by the end of this solid 6 months I am rewarded to have the time with friends and family for 3 weeks back home.

My most productive thing I have did for this 3 weeks will be able to change a person back to his life- as in his real life (regardless is happy or sad, but at least it is real). He controls his life better now. He listens to himself better now.

My memorable time will be also to be able to be back to Shah Alam, INTEC. I just get to meet 2 people though I have travelled so far there. But, I am satisfied very much because at least the 2 person I met is still as healthy as they were.

I went to Shah Alam Buddhist temple. But for this place, I just do not want to comment much. It is a place more I just want to keep it for myself.

I went to IMU. How excited can I be to meet a friend I have not met for a year? The lucky thing is also I have him to bring me around IMU campus, I thought this is once in a lifetime chance. I also met with other INTEC friends, and again just 2 of them. I do not know why, but I prefer to keep my visit a private one, so I did not inform anyone until I reach and whoever I get to meet, I did, whoever I don’t, till next time.

I was also in Nottingham University. I met most of them from INTEC. Memorable time in the Valentine’s Day Night Gathering, people were much sincere and talk anything they want, I thought just seeing them made me felt warm though some of them claimed that I look bored, now and here I just want to tell, I AM NOT! How much I would want to visit all of you again though my mouth have kept saying I am not stepping there anymore, so again, who knows what my heart say?

Back to school- S&D marching Competition

(Photo credit of Harinder Singh)

I was in Penang Free School, particularly for the S&D Marching competition. Wearing shorts and not tucking in, to me is one of the biggest sins a person can do when they attend such a formal event, yet I am forgiven, and is something I really appreciate! I am so sorry, it was so last minute I decided to attend. But I am not only being treated nicely, I am asked to give a speech, I rejected to punish myself for my attire as well as to realise I am just an old man now. But later, when I am asked to give evaluation, I just felt bad enough to say NO again. A very boring evaluation I have given, as I personally feel, tells me I have not entitled to comment on any current issues of Unit 25 anymore. I am seriously a Veteran of the Veterans in this Unit as years coming by.

CNY Potluck Party- my fist gathering once reach Penang

Photo credit of Nimmalan

I have duties with VAD 21 in Thaipusam as well as CNY Potluck, and I met again another few Unit 25 oldies and we discuss a few things. They felt excited to hear from me, but I am sure they did not know I am more excited to tell, after such a long time I did not get to talk with all of them.

Now, at this present moment, I missed all my friends in India. I can’t wait to see all of them. My friends ranged from the bookshop owner, bank officer, hostel wardens, food court food seller and last but of course not the least to me, my classmates!

Do you realise anything different with my writing this time? Interestingly, I just write anything I want today and more prominently, no philosophical articulation. This must be good news for those that have thought my previous posts as boring due to much “weird stuffs”.

 

Whether we like it or not, when the time come, we need to pack and continue with our journey

However, although this separated road we will be walking might be still  far and unsure, let us still put up a smile on our face, to feel so glad that at least on the previous road, we have walk together.

 

Only Once, Never Again, to have all of You

 

Time waits for no man…but it is OK, we can wait for time to come for us. When the time come again, old friends will surely meet again too.

 

 

Till next time,

May all be well and happy!

My Truth? Your Truth? Who has the Real Truth?

 

Realising I have a big load of PBL assignment to read, I chose to sit here to write something.

I realised I have abandoned my blog for a long time, not because I am really that busy, but simply because of I am obeying the Principle of Conservation of Energy which will be:

“Energy is not destroyed or either created, but preserved or converted into other form”.

Why do I say so?

The initial energy when I reach India when I first came here have stopped me from blogging, and this energy or stopping force is not destroyed or disappeared but simply converted into procrastination and giving self-excuses that I cannot do certain things.

As it gets on day after day, it became a common way to carry out my life and so I do not ever question whether am I really that busy to not update this blog.

It just goes on until I have time to made reflection and convert the energy into a kinetic force to move me.

And so I am here….

We do such things many times in life.

For example, we always feel we cannot do certain subject in our studies no matter how hard we try or even to the smallest thing in life such as facing difficulty to talk to a particular person.

Why?

This is what I call the culture of the mind.

When we have to attempt or carry out anything, when condition is suitable and it arises, we put up a perception or we group certain things under certain category.

For example, A is good and so B is bad, A is nice and so B is ugly, A is hard and so B is easy.

Some think the above is longer some think  it is shorter, but mostly that think it is the same

It does not matter what they think, the point is people made different perceptions upon their conditions that had arised

 

That perception will then be kept in our mind, and we hold on to it without even any questions to them.

That perception before even we realise, become a system of belief in us.

That system of belief before we realise again, make us thought it was a truth.

Everyone is seeking for Truth… Everyone claim to have the Best Truth… However, how true is Truth? Are they true?

As we accepted the truth, it became our practise and soon it became part of us- as I will call it as a habit.

And anything that go against that habit will be taken as WRONG and NOT THE TRUTH.

Because of that, we resisted our self from doing things we think we cannot do.

Because of that, we see certain things as truth when they might not be actually.

Because of that, people that do anything that is not align to our truth, we call them disobedient or unknowledgeable.

Because of that, we dislike people, we discriminate people- to whoever we think that have against “our self-perceived truth”.

Therefore, we find this set of judgement within the society among the diverse community.

Therefore, in our daily cultivation, if we are not aware we are developing the resistance to see the real truth by letting the mind to accept the un-truth then sooner or later, our eyes will be filled by the dust even without realising.

What we belief and undertake might not be the real truth, it is just our mind projection.

We see who we are, we are who we see

 

What should I do to prevent that then?

Unlearn, relearn and learn is the ultimate process I must learn.

Belief that nothing is permanent and when the time comes for its cessation, contemplation has to be made, rather than feeling upset and revengeful.

To only do that, we need to let go and hold nothing in life no matter how much we think we need it.

Letting go is not the end of what belong to us…

Letting go is the beginning of our ability to control what we had

 

This includes letting go to what I am saying now.

Whatever I am saying now, you must also let go and do not hold it strongly.

 

Why do I say so?

In Buddhism, it thought us that the Noble Truth is not to have desire.

However, not to have desire is a kind of desire.

Therefore, having no desire by also not having the desire to not have desire is the actual ultimate goal we try to attain.

Same goes to what is happening here, preaching the truth of not holding any truth strongly so we can see the truth is including to let go of this current truth.

If people have always wondered what the Middle Path is, this is what the Middle Path means.

To keep yourself in the Middle Path, trying it too hard even for the Middle Path will make you not in the Middle Path anymore; therefore the real Middle Path is the ultimate stillness of mind or in simple- REAL MIDDLE.

Middle Path

Therefore, practice anything we want in life with simplicity and balance, then we can see this world a simpler and in a more harmony way.

 

Free ourself from perception, free ourself from ideas as how the Great Tao Master had beautifully said to begin Tao Te Ching and how  I will use it to beautifully end my piece:

 

The tao that can be told

is not the eternal Tao

The name that can be named

is not the eternal Name.

The unnamable is the eternally real.

 

Naming is the origin

of all particular things.

Free from desire, you realize the mystery.

Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.

…

Therefore the Master

acts without doing anything

and teaches without saying anything.

Things arise and she lets them come;

things disappear and she lets them go.

She has but doesn't possess,

acts but doesn't expect.

When her work is done, she forgets it.

That is why it lasts forever.

 

 

May all be well and happy!

Be Real for Once

I used MSN for the first time when I was in Form 3.

Then, I explore Friendster in Form 4.

Following, I started to write blogs after I finished my SPM.

I have my Facebook account when I was in my 2nd semester of A Levels.

Then, I have Twitter in my 3rd semester.

Until today, these are also the social network I have ever committed and still active in it except Friendster.

How much I have used this as a tool of communication?

I would say very little.

Firstly, I do not update often.

Secondly, I usually do not have that allocation of time once academic sessions begin.

However, the root cause of all the reasons above is because I do not indulge into all this social networking because I think it make people lose their real nature of communication.

Dr Wee, an old Free that we have once interviewed in the magazine, said she dislike those applications because people fantasize on their personality when they do not be like themselves.

I agree.

We can see a person who talks so little can be a very sociable person in the web.

Meanwhile, a bad-tempered guy can be an extremely soft and gentle spoken person in the virtual world.

We can see new-made friendship between two people got so close in the cyber world, but when they meet each other in real world, they are nothing less than strangers.

We can see how a long-term ever after relationship can actually begin just by a chat box.

We can see how people develop ego because the barrier of communication contact is infinite which will definitely not possible in face-to-face talk.

The art of language of face-to-face is more meaningful because people become who they are rather then what they want.

However, nobody will ever deny this technology advancement has provided us an ease on sending out information with such a short spent of time as what I am also making use to now.

Besides, it gives a chance to those who really prefer to write than to talk to socialise with others.

There are indeed benefits to the usage.

Although this summary might be an oversimplification, but if we really think deeper, do you think social network has actually made human relationship getting closer or further?

it is your call.

For myself, there will be no escape to this advancement. But, I thought I have been always the same at here (virtual networking) and at real.


May all be happy and enjoy to be in contact with friends and family for real!!!

03 september 2011

I vow to detach myself,

Because only detachment I see permanence,

Because I do not gain you, neither do I lost you,

You are always there for me.

 

I vow to let you go,

Because only letting go I see my freedom and your freedom,

Because I do not have to hold on to you, neither do you have to hold on to anything,

We are eternally there for each other.

 

Yes…

I am sad and I am mournful,

But I know nothing stays forever,

Even the fragrance of flower will come to decay.

 

But,

With the love and care when you are alive at your time,

You have shown this is not just a mortal relationship,

It is a tie that has been fated and penetrated the nature of impermanence,

It is eternal.

 

With that,

I have no fear anymore,

Because you are actually still there,

As always,

In my heart.

 

To me that is still alive in this world,

I vow to live in every present moment,

Because only in the present moment I see myself alive for real,

Because I am not trap in the delusions of past and future,

I am here…at  NOW

 

May you be well and happy,

May all sentient beings be well and happy.

 

 

“If there is a cure when problem comes,
What need is there for being sad,

And if no cure is to be found,

What use is there in sorrow.”

 

07 September 2011

RIVER and MIND

The mind is supposed to be like the river.

As how the water remain so calm on the surface although the unseen is the current flowing below it,

Just like the mind.

 

The mind is supposed to be like the river,

As it passes through every stream and then letting it go as the water flows on,

Just like the mind.

 

The mind is supposed to be like the river,

Allowing the mud and sand to settle down so that it remains clear,

Just like the mind.

 

In any ways the river is not doing it,

When the water hit and splash by a strong uncontrolled current taking away its calmness,

When it is clogged or blocked thus not flowing,

When the mud is stirred up making the water cloudy,

The flow will be disrupted,

It is not a real river anymore,

Just like the mind.

 

I can be what type of river I want,

The calm or the disrupted one,

I can be what type of mind I want,

The peaceful or the disturbing one.

May all be cultivating the peaceful mind!

May all be well and happy!

 

-The mind is everything, what you think you become.-

-Buddha

-River and mind-

7 july 1975

In just lesser than a week, we will see a transition of power from the out-going committees to the in-coming committees.

Every year, I will have an agenda for the society.

The first year after I left, I stress on the importance of members in actually being the real power that control the society.

Members are the real power of the society

They are those that play the most vital role in maintaining the stability, performance and excellence of the society.

In other words, committees are just the mould, but members are the product made.

The second year, I stress on how important for Junior Coms to be innovative and creative in their work in order to improve the society.

Besides, all are reminded again one of the most important element of an organisation which is to remember that we need to do what we want others to do and never ask members to do anything that we will never want to do when we are in their shoe.

It is one of the famous line I always say: “A boss tells us what to do, a leader shows that it can be done”.

The next year, the agenda diverted to unity between Juniors and Seniors. It seems there is some gap due to dissatisfaction here and there.

However, it is not worth mentioning anymore, as today the Seniors and Juniors are working closely enough, or in fact, I will say more than that.

Now, we are entering another new year. Although it has not even started, I can feel that, if we are not aware about it, sooner or later, I am worry it will turns out to be true.

I rather hope the committees to prove me wrong than to see it becomes a problem that we have to seek for a solution.

What I am trying to point out is nothing new or difficult to understand. It can be also one of the main ideas I have always stress, which is Leadership through Example.

To define it clearer, leadership through example can be understood as leaders will always act as a role model to the members, therefore, what the leaders do, will seems to be something right to do to the members, and they will also do it.

Therefore, if the committees are pursuing righteousness, then righteousness will be reflected In members, it goes the same if the leaders display bad examples in them, then bad examples are what we will see in the entire society.

This is actually the simplest yet can be the hardest thing to do.

However, it should be clearly noted that this is not something created or caused solely by the current committees; it is more of an inheritance, which I wouldn’t deny if it even existed during my time.

Therefore, I am afraid if the higher authorities still do not take drastic actions, Unit will be like a food chain. As time passes by and we are climbing higher up the trophic level, what left is the little proportion of the original cake once we have.

 

If this is going to be a reality, then all the past achievements will rather just remain as a history.

As how we can always hear from Cantonese dramas (after translation):

“We, as the current generation will be a disgrace to the ancestors and have no pride to meet them.”

All this can surely be seen right in front our eyes now with the declining of serious matters such as first aid, participation and qualities of performance for anything with regard to competition.

As ex-seniors, it will be inappropriate for us to continually interfering and disrupting, no matter how helpful the suggestions and comments. This is for the sake of respecting the current committees as well as not to disturb the stability within the Unit.

However, in the name of Unit, this is a very sincere reminder I can give. Especially, when it is written here…

Who reads?

Who cares?

Maybe, it is a personal piece of writing for relieve, that is if Unit is worse, at least I have reminded before, if Unit is better, then that shows the committees manage to escape the catastrophe well. Either way, I am not losing anything.

For those going to be proudly sticking up the 3 stripes (and with an extra crown), what have you got to do when you guys are in power?

 

Symbol of power and responsibility

In this new month of August,

We see the end of July

And September is coming soon.

In this present moment,

We see how we are made of from the past,

As how it will then affect the future.

If we can understand the past, present and future,

We will understand,

They are all are the same and inter-related.

As how the past committees,

The present committees,

And the future committes,

Are connected.

Our actions yesterday

have caused our today

and will affect our tomorrow.

However,

As we can only control the present moment,

Let us ensure our today is going to be

A memorable past for tomorrow,

So that by tomorrow it will be a memorable today.

For those going to be appointed,

It will be one of my most exciting and proudest moment,

Hope the new fresh team will bring a change,

And bring the society to the best level ever before.

May all be well and happy…

(This has been written almost 2 weeks ago, therefore some would have known about this. Hope it remain relevant and readable to all)

When Life is Alive

I remember I did a post in my room in Cendana before I left at here, as the mark of the end of life as a Junior in Cendana and also the sign of beginning as a Senior in Cemara.

My first outing in Cendana to KL

 

Last outing and also the last picture =)

But how about now? I had even finish my term in Cemara, and of course, in INTEC as well.

However, the reason to write this piece of sharing after for so long is because life in INTEC has been greater than arrangement of words.

Life in INTEC has been greater than arrangement of words.

-Photo credits to etchwa-

So, I wrote and then I alter..then I delete later on…

This happen for a few times..

Only until today, I got my realisation…

Why am I writing this for?

For others to admire this great piece of summary by being as descriptive as possible…

To include as many people and events as possible to let who and who to felt excited…

Those are actually the few reasons of me writing the wrote-alter-deleted posts initially.

Later on, I just realise it is so hard to do something and produce something to satisfy others especially to get the “LIKES “of everyone.

(These are some of the reasons why I rarely feel of posting in Facebook, as I felt the sense of craving for “LIKES” is so high that we defeated the purpose of writing.)

At last, I decided my only purpose to write is to note things I would remember the most about Cemara for me to look back again on this journey perhaps many many years later…

The hardest and greatest thing I learn is to know ourselves better first before we even want to learn about others.

I observe how competition happens around me, or sometimes is not even really competition, is more of a prey-predator relationship. Those who strong not only outweigh the weak, but even have the tendency to destroy the weaker ones for their own needs and stability within the territory.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”
-Lao Tzu-

Therefore, if we always want to look left and right around us, we will fall into this trap of delusion and we will get into the endless merry-go-round of this life’s survival-of-the fittest.

Those who win and lose are definitely in a different status of achievement, but they share the commonness of feelings which is unsatisfactory.

Those who win will never feel enough but to win more or else they might also have fear if they cannot maintain this championship.

Whereas, those who lose will feel that they do not deserve that defeat and so struggle to win next time.

Either way, they get into mental illness- depression!

Depression will arise…if we cannot let it go!

However, when we just ask questions such as ,

“what that actually give us the actual happiness”

“what do we really want from here”

then we will realise more of our responsibilities and purpose why we are actually here.

Can we hold the burden of the world when we can’t even hold on our life firmly?

Yet,I am not denying the truth which is we will never escape from competition and survival for life, this is a part of the nature.

But, what we can do is to stay above of this delusion so that our mind will be in the right state, then we can control our life better, rather letting life to control us.

To do this is stay clear and empty the mind, then peacefulness will be overwhelmingly full filling into the empty space.

 

The lotus will never run away from living on the mud, in fact it is the essential of its life. But, it can rise above the mud and bloom amazingly. Same to life, we can never escape from the realistic competition, but we can rise above this illusion of mind to see the truth

Maybe this is the reason why I just archive little in life.

A contented man with no big ambition to change the world but only myself

Because every time when I can change myself, I felt there is nothing anymore I need to change in the world…

Just enough for me and others,

Just live in the present moment and aware of every drops of life,

This is freedom, this is Nirvana…

 

I hope this will serve as a good reminder when I study elsewhere, when conditions will be harder and more demanding. If I don’t, no problem, I just have to open back this piece of words and remind myself again =)

 

“A photo is a faithful portrait
The smile that friendship shares
To add its sunshine and to show
That someone really cares.”

Author- unknown

 

p.s A young friend voice out that he suffer from “pening” when he reads here due to too many words, so some pictures this time. =)

What my Mind is, I am

Oh Lord,

When I touch the Earth,

I understand the dust on this land are swept away from one place to the other,

As how beings on this world come and go.

Impermanence.

 

Oh Lord,

When I feel my heart,

I understand every beat is so different and changing,

As if every life of mine is renew by each pulse of beat.

Impermanence.

 

Oh Lord,

When I feel for the breeze of air passing through me,

I understand that non-existence and existence comes together,

As how sadness and happiness arises and cease along with time.

Impermanence.

 

Oh Lord,

When I realise what is there is enough for me,

It is just for me to feel it and understand it,

With a simple and clear mind,

Nothing to cling onto and attach to,

Then my mind is peaceful and contented.

Permanence.

 

Happy as who I am.

Don’t  be anyone.

Seek for nothing.

Then the mind is full.

 

Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!

The Exception

I have never spoken like this to anyone before,

Except you,

I have never been treated so mindful like anyone before,

Except you,

For that, you should know that you are just a special one.

 

I love all my friends, so shall I not discriminate one from the other,

All are the same, as all are important to me,

But as what you have heard from me before,

I know you know that you have a strong position of friendship in my heart,

 

Let our sketches of memories,

Since how long we can ever remember,

To stay within us until the day that only God knows.

 

My friend,

For you and me,

Too little that need to be said,

As much has been done together,

Between I and you.

 

If I have never tell you before,

Let me tell you now,

I have no regrets,

For the days gone past.

As who I am tomorrow is who you make me are today.

 

God bless You.

What is Done is Finished

Few more days, examination will come to an end. Unbelievable, we are all going to successfully went through that extreme mentally challenging mind-game having the evolutionary race with Edexcel.

As they put up a natural selection on us by modifying the examination questions on concept-led-approach, those students with that alleles that have the characteristic to conceptually understood the subject survive without problems, while some who don’t got to be selected against.

After all, this is examination, there will be winners, while those who don’t, are definitely not losers, but just that they got to be comparatively lower as there are people better than them.

Therefore, those who usually felt sad and disappointed after an exam, is not necessarily because they did not do well, it is because they thought to themselves that comparatively they are not doing well than others, so they do suffer.

As I said on that, I must admit that this must be something for me to let go also  if I do not want to suffer for this ‘comparison’ game’ anymore.

Anyway, I am not writing about Comparing Others with Yourself but it is about Letting Go

It is time to let go of this luggage of responsibility- an academic commitment that I have taken on my shoulder for two years. There will be more to come, but for now, it’s time to let go.

But what let go means?

If you have thought this…

Letting go does not mean stop working as we have come to an end. It is not that. We never know where is the end, not even for us to decide whether our path of responsibility has ended.

But instead, letting go means saying and understand in ourself that it is finished. We have finished.

“ But wait!”

“What do you mean finished?”

“You are having your university life coming, then you might want to study further, and then as a doctor, you are going to study..study..study till you are dead, and how dare you say that it is finished. It will never finish!”

Well, my friend, what is done is finished!

In life, we have been always searching for that something that will never be enough. We never think we have enough time in a day, we never think we have did enough for the day, we never think what we have got is enough for ourselves.

Instead, we crave…

We want more…

Though, it does not always mean greed, especially when what we are pursuing are for good means.

Examples, it can be feeling not enough on helping others or even on sharing merits, or it can be not feeling enough to make this life a better one.

However, in any ways also, feeling insufficient and having the desire to grief for more will only cause no-peace, sufferings and not having our life alive.

We choose the way for ourself. What we think we become. If we never think it is finished, so it is.

Having the courage to stop does not mean anything about us as a failure or an undetermined person.

It is a self-loving, peace-searching and inner-joyfulness in one’s mind when they felt contented, felt blessed, and felt satisfied about who they are and what they have did at the end of the day- the day when they said it is finished.

 

Emptiness is full, full is emptiness,

Emptiness and full, both made up as one.

What we can see, feel, touch and hear,

Are perceptions, and all this are made up of conditions.

 

When the conditions arise, they exist,

When the conditions cease, they decay,

What makes conditions is the mind,

If we can control the mind, we control everything,

 

If our mind is controlled by desire,

We will gain temporary freedom- freedom of desire,

If our mind can control our desire,

We will gain eternal freedom- freedom from desire.

 

Letting go is not a termination.

Letting go is a liberation.

May all be well and happy!

 

Let my mind be put back into stillness- by letting go.

 

In gratitude to the teachings to fellow Sanghas,

With respect and anjali.

 

Contentment- when you let go and see nothing as self