Be Real for Once

I used MSN for the first time when I was in Form 3.

Then, I explore Friendster in Form 4.

Following, I started to write blogs after I finished my SPM.

I have my Facebook account when I was in my 2nd semester of A Levels.

Then, I have Twitter in my 3rd semester.

Until today, these are also the social network I have ever committed and still active in it except Friendster.

How much I have used this as a tool of communication?

I would say very little.

Firstly, I do not update often.

Secondly, I usually do not have that allocation of time once academic sessions begin.

However, the root cause of all the reasons above is because I do not indulge into all this social networking because I think it make people lose their real nature of communication.

Dr Wee, an old Free that we have once interviewed in the magazine, said she dislike those applications because people fantasize on their personality when they do not be like themselves.

I agree.

We can see a person who talks so little can be a very sociable person in the web.

Meanwhile, a bad-tempered guy can be an extremely soft and gentle spoken person in the virtual world.

We can see new-made friendship between two people got so close in the cyber world, but when they meet each other in real world, they are nothing less than strangers.

We can see how a long-term ever after relationship can actually begin just by a chat box.

We can see how people develop ego because the barrier of communication contact is infinite which will definitely not possible in face-to-face talk.

The art of language of face-to-face is more meaningful because people become who they are rather then what they want.

However, nobody will ever deny this technology advancement has provided us an ease on sending out information with such a short spent of time as what I am also making use to now.

Besides, it gives a chance to those who really prefer to write than to talk to socialise with others.

There are indeed benefits to the usage.

Although this summary might be an oversimplification, but if we really think deeper, do you think social network has actually made human relationship getting closer or further?

it is your call.

For myself, there will be no escape to this advancement. But, I thought I have been always the same at here (virtual networking) and at real.


May all be happy and enjoy to be in contact with friends and family for real!!!

03 september 2011

I vow to detach myself,

Because only detachment I see permanence,

Because I do not gain you, neither do I lost you,

You are always there for me.

 

I vow to let you go,

Because only letting go I see my freedom and your freedom,

Because I do not have to hold on to you, neither do you have to hold on to anything,

We are eternally there for each other.

 

Yes…

I am sad and I am mournful,

But I know nothing stays forever,

Even the fragrance of flower will come to decay.

 

But,

With the love and care when you are alive at your time,

You have shown this is not just a mortal relationship,

It is a tie that has been fated and penetrated the nature of impermanence,

It is eternal.

 

With that,

I have no fear anymore,

Because you are actually still there,

As always,

In my heart.

 

To me that is still alive in this world,

I vow to live in every present moment,

Because only in the present moment I see myself alive for real,

Because I am not trap in the delusions of past and future,

I am here…at  NOW

 

May you be well and happy,

May all sentient beings be well and happy.

 

 

“If there is a cure when problem comes,
What need is there for being sad,

And if no cure is to be found,

What use is there in sorrow.”

 

07 September 2011

RIVER and MIND

The mind is supposed to be like the river.

As how the water remain so calm on the surface although the unseen is the current flowing below it,

Just like the mind.

 

The mind is supposed to be like the river,

As it passes through every stream and then letting it go as the water flows on,

Just like the mind.

 

The mind is supposed to be like the river,

Allowing the mud and sand to settle down so that it remains clear,

Just like the mind.

 

In any ways the river is not doing it,

When the water hit and splash by a strong uncontrolled current taking away its calmness,

When it is clogged or blocked thus not flowing,

When the mud is stirred up making the water cloudy,

The flow will be disrupted,

It is not a real river anymore,

Just like the mind.

 

I can be what type of river I want,

The calm or the disrupted one,

I can be what type of mind I want,

The peaceful or the disturbing one.

May all be cultivating the peaceful mind!

May all be well and happy!

 

-The mind is everything, what you think you become.-

-Buddha

-River and mind-

7 july 1975

In just lesser than a week, we will see a transition of power from the out-going committees to the in-coming committees.

Every year, I will have an agenda for the society.

The first year after I left, I stress on the importance of members in actually being the real power that control the society.

Members are the real power of the society

They are those that play the most vital role in maintaining the stability, performance and excellence of the society.

In other words, committees are just the mould, but members are the product made.

The second year, I stress on how important for Junior Coms to be innovative and creative in their work in order to improve the society.

Besides, all are reminded again one of the most important element of an organisation which is to remember that we need to do what we want others to do and never ask members to do anything that we will never want to do when we are in their shoe.

It is one of the famous line I always say: “A boss tells us what to do, a leader shows that it can be done”.

The next year, the agenda diverted to unity between Juniors and Seniors. It seems there is some gap due to dissatisfaction here and there.

However, it is not worth mentioning anymore, as today the Seniors and Juniors are working closely enough, or in fact, I will say more than that.

Now, we are entering another new year. Although it has not even started, I can feel that, if we are not aware about it, sooner or later, I am worry it will turns out to be true.

I rather hope the committees to prove me wrong than to see it becomes a problem that we have to seek for a solution.

What I am trying to point out is nothing new or difficult to understand. It can be also one of the main ideas I have always stress, which is Leadership through Example.

To define it clearer, leadership through example can be understood as leaders will always act as a role model to the members, therefore, what the leaders do, will seems to be something right to do to the members, and they will also do it.

Therefore, if the committees are pursuing righteousness, then righteousness will be reflected In members, it goes the same if the leaders display bad examples in them, then bad examples are what we will see in the entire society.

This is actually the simplest yet can be the hardest thing to do.

However, it should be clearly noted that this is not something created or caused solely by the current committees; it is more of an inheritance, which I wouldn’t deny if it even existed during my time.

Therefore, I am afraid if the higher authorities still do not take drastic actions, Unit will be like a food chain. As time passes by and we are climbing higher up the trophic level, what left is the little proportion of the original cake once we have.

 

If this is going to be a reality, then all the past achievements will rather just remain as a history.

As how we can always hear from Cantonese dramas (after translation):

“We, as the current generation will be a disgrace to the ancestors and have no pride to meet them.”

All this can surely be seen right in front our eyes now with the declining of serious matters such as first aid, participation and qualities of performance for anything with regard to competition.

As ex-seniors, it will be inappropriate for us to continually interfering and disrupting, no matter how helpful the suggestions and comments. This is for the sake of respecting the current committees as well as not to disturb the stability within the Unit.

However, in the name of Unit, this is a very sincere reminder I can give. Especially, when it is written here…

Who reads?

Who cares?

Maybe, it is a personal piece of writing for relieve, that is if Unit is worse, at least I have reminded before, if Unit is better, then that shows the committees manage to escape the catastrophe well. Either way, I am not losing anything.

For those going to be proudly sticking up the 3 stripes (and with an extra crown), what have you got to do when you guys are in power?

 

Symbol of power and responsibility

In this new month of August,

We see the end of July

And September is coming soon.

In this present moment,

We see how we are made of from the past,

As how it will then affect the future.

If we can understand the past, present and future,

We will understand,

They are all are the same and inter-related.

As how the past committees,

The present committees,

And the future committes,

Are connected.

Our actions yesterday

have caused our today

and will affect our tomorrow.

However,

As we can only control the present moment,

Let us ensure our today is going to be

A memorable past for tomorrow,

So that by tomorrow it will be a memorable today.

For those going to be appointed,

It will be one of my most exciting and proudest moment,

Hope the new fresh team will bring a change,

And bring the society to the best level ever before.

May all be well and happy…

(This has been written almost 2 weeks ago, therefore some would have known about this. Hope it remain relevant and readable to all)

When Life is Alive

I remember I did a post in my room in Cendana before I left at here, as the mark of the end of life as a Junior in Cendana and also the sign of beginning as a Senior in Cemara.

My first outing in Cendana to KL

 

Last outing and also the last picture =)

But how about now? I had even finish my term in Cemara, and of course, in INTEC as well.

However, the reason to write this piece of sharing after for so long is because life in INTEC has been greater than arrangement of words.

Life in INTEC has been greater than arrangement of words.

-Photo credits to etchwa-

So, I wrote and then I alter..then I delete later on…

This happen for a few times..

Only until today, I got my realisation…

Why am I writing this for?

For others to admire this great piece of summary by being as descriptive as possible…

To include as many people and events as possible to let who and who to felt excited…

Those are actually the few reasons of me writing the wrote-alter-deleted posts initially.

Later on, I just realise it is so hard to do something and produce something to satisfy others especially to get the “LIKES “of everyone.

(These are some of the reasons why I rarely feel of posting in Facebook, as I felt the sense of craving for “LIKES” is so high that we defeated the purpose of writing.)

At last, I decided my only purpose to write is to note things I would remember the most about Cemara for me to look back again on this journey perhaps many many years later…

The hardest and greatest thing I learn is to know ourselves better first before we even want to learn about others.

I observe how competition happens around me, or sometimes is not even really competition, is more of a prey-predator relationship. Those who strong not only outweigh the weak, but even have the tendency to destroy the weaker ones for their own needs and stability within the territory.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”
-Lao Tzu-

Therefore, if we always want to look left and right around us, we will fall into this trap of delusion and we will get into the endless merry-go-round of this life’s survival-of-the fittest.

Those who win and lose are definitely in a different status of achievement, but they share the commonness of feelings which is unsatisfactory.

Those who win will never feel enough but to win more or else they might also have fear if they cannot maintain this championship.

Whereas, those who lose will feel that they do not deserve that defeat and so struggle to win next time.

Either way, they get into mental illness- depression!

Depression will arise…if we cannot let it go!

However, when we just ask questions such as ,

“what that actually give us the actual happiness”

“what do we really want from here”

then we will realise more of our responsibilities and purpose why we are actually here.

Can we hold the burden of the world when we can’t even hold on our life firmly?

Yet,I am not denying the truth which is we will never escape from competition and survival for life, this is a part of the nature.

But, what we can do is to stay above of this delusion so that our mind will be in the right state, then we can control our life better, rather letting life to control us.

To do this is stay clear and empty the mind, then peacefulness will be overwhelmingly full filling into the empty space.

 

The lotus will never run away from living on the mud, in fact it is the essential of its life. But, it can rise above the mud and bloom amazingly. Same to life, we can never escape from the realistic competition, but we can rise above this illusion of mind to see the truth

Maybe this is the reason why I just archive little in life.

A contented man with no big ambition to change the world but only myself

Because every time when I can change myself, I felt there is nothing anymore I need to change in the world…

Just enough for me and others,

Just live in the present moment and aware of every drops of life,

This is freedom, this is Nirvana…

 

I hope this will serve as a good reminder when I study elsewhere, when conditions will be harder and more demanding. If I don’t, no problem, I just have to open back this piece of words and remind myself again =)

 

“A photo is a faithful portrait
The smile that friendship shares
To add its sunshine and to show
That someone really cares.”

Author- unknown

 

p.s A young friend voice out that he suffer from “pening” when he reads here due to too many words, so some pictures this time. =)

What my Mind is, I am

Oh Lord,

When I touch the Earth,

I understand the dust on this land are swept away from one place to the other,

As how beings on this world come and go.

Impermanence.

 

Oh Lord,

When I feel my heart,

I understand every beat is so different and changing,

As if every life of mine is renew by each pulse of beat.

Impermanence.

 

Oh Lord,

When I feel for the breeze of air passing through me,

I understand that non-existence and existence comes together,

As how sadness and happiness arises and cease along with time.

Impermanence.

 

Oh Lord,

When I realise what is there is enough for me,

It is just for me to feel it and understand it,

With a simple and clear mind,

Nothing to cling onto and attach to,

Then my mind is peaceful and contented.

Permanence.

 

Happy as who I am.

Don’t  be anyone.

Seek for nothing.

Then the mind is full.

 

Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!

The Exception

I have never spoken like this to anyone before,

Except you,

I have never been treated so mindful like anyone before,

Except you,

For that, you should know that you are just a special one.

 

I love all my friends, so shall I not discriminate one from the other,

All are the same, as all are important to me,

But as what you have heard from me before,

I know you know that you have a strong position of friendship in my heart,

 

Let our sketches of memories,

Since how long we can ever remember,

To stay within us until the day that only God knows.

 

My friend,

For you and me,

Too little that need to be said,

As much has been done together,

Between I and you.

 

If I have never tell you before,

Let me tell you now,

I have no regrets,

For the days gone past.

As who I am tomorrow is who you make me are today.

 

God bless You.

What is Done is Finished

Few more days, examination will come to an end. Unbelievable, we are all going to successfully went through that extreme mentally challenging mind-game having the evolutionary race with Edexcel.

As they put up a natural selection on us by modifying the examination questions on concept-led-approach, those students with that alleles that have the characteristic to conceptually understood the subject survive without problems, while some who don’t got to be selected against.

After all, this is examination, there will be winners, while those who don’t, are definitely not losers, but just that they got to be comparatively lower as there are people better than them.

Therefore, those who usually felt sad and disappointed after an exam, is not necessarily because they did not do well, it is because they thought to themselves that comparatively they are not doing well than others, so they do suffer.

As I said on that, I must admit that this must be something for me to let go also  if I do not want to suffer for this ‘comparison’ game’ anymore.

Anyway, I am not writing about Comparing Others with Yourself but it is about Letting Go

It is time to let go of this luggage of responsibility- an academic commitment that I have taken on my shoulder for two years. There will be more to come, but for now, it’s time to let go.

But what let go means?

If you have thought this…

Letting go does not mean stop working as we have come to an end. It is not that. We never know where is the end, not even for us to decide whether our path of responsibility has ended.

But instead, letting go means saying and understand in ourself that it is finished. We have finished.

“ But wait!”

“What do you mean finished?”

“You are having your university life coming, then you might want to study further, and then as a doctor, you are going to study..study..study till you are dead, and how dare you say that it is finished. It will never finish!”

Well, my friend, what is done is finished!

In life, we have been always searching for that something that will never be enough. We never think we have enough time in a day, we never think we have did enough for the day, we never think what we have got is enough for ourselves.

Instead, we crave…

We want more…

Though, it does not always mean greed, especially when what we are pursuing are for good means.

Examples, it can be feeling not enough on helping others or even on sharing merits, or it can be not feeling enough to make this life a better one.

However, in any ways also, feeling insufficient and having the desire to grief for more will only cause no-peace, sufferings and not having our life alive.

We choose the way for ourself. What we think we become. If we never think it is finished, so it is.

Having the courage to stop does not mean anything about us as a failure or an undetermined person.

It is a self-loving, peace-searching and inner-joyfulness in one’s mind when they felt contented, felt blessed, and felt satisfied about who they are and what they have did at the end of the day- the day when they said it is finished.

 

Emptiness is full, full is emptiness,

Emptiness and full, both made up as one.

What we can see, feel, touch and hear,

Are perceptions, and all this are made up of conditions.

 

When the conditions arise, they exist,

When the conditions cease, they decay,

What makes conditions is the mind,

If we can control the mind, we control everything,

 

If our mind is controlled by desire,

We will gain temporary freedom- freedom of desire,

If our mind can control our desire,

We will gain eternal freedom- freedom from desire.

 

Letting go is not a termination.

Letting go is a liberation.

May all be well and happy!

 

Let my mind be put back into stillness- by letting go.

 

In gratitude to the teachings to fellow Sanghas,

With respect and anjali.

 

Contentment- when you let go and see nothing as self

A Temporary Home

Weeks ago, I was staying at my aunt’s place in Cheras.

All thanks to her for having the kindness to let me stay there for so long throughout my study leave period.

However, as I thought I will be merely just studying to prepare for my examination, I have experience another feeling of family-ness in this immediate family of mine.

Before I get to know my uncle better, he used to be a fierce looking man who talks no more than little and that let me always have a phobia when I see him during those days when I visit the family during holiday.

However, this time around, things have been pretty much different. He loves sharing stories and stuff he had went through in life. He loves food, so mostly I will be listening to him sharing about ways to cook including where will be the right place to buy all those ingredients and good food around KL.

My aunt has been the person I talk to the most, as only she that able to understand Hokkien, as the rest will just usually stare at me curiously puzzling what she and me is talking about.

However, there is always an alternative of language with my other cousins.

Some are working some are studying. Those working I see them twice a week, at most, those studying, I only got to mingle around with them during weekends.

However, I will say, most of the time I will spent the time with my he-cousin (got such thing?), as we usually spend time playing sports during the evening (Yea! Better believe it, I do play sports)

I felt sorry sometimes; do not know whether, if he ever felt frustrated playing badminton with me, as the frequency of me missing the shuttle-cock is higher than whenever I can hit it.

But, he always seems to never mind and offer to play again the next day. That actually makes me determined to play better although my skills is still nowhere near satisfactory level.

During the few weeks stay, I learn some custom or better called as eating etiquette such as calling the elders first, strictly being reminded to stay on the table until all are done eating, eating at a more (and more) gentle way without those noise coming out from the chewing and most importantly, a strong display of filial piety

During the few weeks stay, I got to  also know more of my cousins (yea, I admit I know them little before that

Example, when my cousin seems not being very happy with things people more elder than him is doing, he knows what is ‘silence is golden’ and just kept patient, although his true nature is a person of bad-tempered and can be really nasty with things he despise off. Don’t you think young people like this are getting lesser nowadays?

Running a family is nothing different from running a government. A fair and justice government with give-and-take policy between the people and the ruler is what that that brings prosperity and peace.

All this blessing must be of good karma done by all of them and with great teachings from both of their parents. Sadhu!

Exam is going to end soon. Good times with friends are finishing too. But sweet memories will never fade away.

 

Oh Boddhisatta Avalokitesvara,

In your manifestation of compassion and mercifulness,

Bless the family of mine,

Bless the family of all my relatives and friends,

Bless the family of all sentient beings,

Bless all those without a family to be also filled with love of family-hood,

Let all beings to cultivate the values of love to let it flow freely in their home,

As the love of universe can only begins from home,

Let no quarrels and dispute to divide them,

As quarrels can only bring negative afflictions and bad energy,

But if quarrels are unavoidable,

Let the strong feelings of love to be more overwhelming,

As nothing can be greater than the power of true love and compassion.

May all be well and happy.

 

 My own words of filial piety: Take good care of yourself, first, then only you can look after them well.

Take One Step at A Time

I was searching for some Buddhist music yesterday and impatiently without waiting for them to finish loading, I go for the next one and without realising, I have open so many tabs with each one loading at an extreme slow speed.

As I continue to add more tabs as I was so excited to find so many of the music I have never downloaded before, those half-way loading music started to sound and all this supposed-to-be harmonious rhyme of music became a pain to the ear when all are played together at different tune.

A spark of mindfulness at that moment suddenly realised me that even if we are given the best conditions including luxurious food, great friends or even with good livelihood, we will never appreciate and enjoy that gift-of-lift if we continue to search for one.

In other words, searching and seeking for our desire in life will only cause endless desire, and even if after successfully achieving all such desire, it will never reward us with true satisfaction and joyfulness.

Desire is like running in a circle, it never ends and we ended up no where too

Instead, chasing for more and more will cause further disappointment in oneself, when the nature of the reality is all the perfection and beauty we are searching for has been right in front of us.

However, misunderstood and ambitious people might say that this thought are of fatalism and will only means that human will never be progressive but forever staying at the same spot in life admiring what is there and never going for improvement.

In Buddhism, we must learn to differentiate the physical development and the mind or mental development.

Physical development are improvement that we can experience with our 5 senses, we touch money, we hear successful stories, we hold on a trophy of championship, we smell on the perfume that gives great scene and pleasure to the nose, and we satisfied the taste buds with the best food in life.

All this are worldly development and undeniably we can improve them and make them better by working hard as time goes on.

However, the nature of those physical development is impermanence and there are times when greed, ungratefulness and selfishness overwhelming, then this is when we witness war, disagreement, competition for unnecessary reasons just to claim for more honour and power to be bestowed on them, simply to show I am better than you.

Physical development with no proper understanding is what causing fight for power and name

At the same time, (Yes! It is at the same time as physical development is inseparable and must go along with mind development), mind development is the cultivation of one’s thoughts and understanding mainly on the Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration. In short, mind development is about seeing the reality and really understand the nature of the reality.

Therefore, we are not actually surrendering to fate as what others claim us as having the no desire to run faster than others, to stand taller than others and to be better than others as we have something more important to be better than which is to never stop cultivating our mind till liberation is gained at any possible time.

Meanwhile, we are not stop from achieving what we should in this world: to get a good degree and starting to have a good career, have a nice house and car(s) and having a good family till the end. This are all the physical development that must go along to fulfil the basic needs of life and continue living.

However, all this must be done with the right understanding or with clear reason in us that why are we doing all this without being shadowed by illusions and imaginations. If all what we are seeking, is what we felt as sufferings and pain, then perhaps we are improving on our physical development only but our mental development are in a poor state.

Therefore, I, personally, disagree with clash of word development and religion, as they go along together, and both keep balance on one another. Both must exist.

All in all, what we know is what we have understood. If we can understand and feel the real nature of the reality, we can know more about our life and ourselves. When we have felt the truth, then we can free ourselves and not being trap in this illusive world anymore.

As once said, Nirvana is not all about attainment, is a pathway.

May all of us can touch the real truth, taste the nectar of Dharma, listen to the Enlightened One’s teaching and achieve our eternal freedom.

Brothers and sisters,

May I be free from harm and danger,

May you be free from harm and danger,

May all be free from harm and danger,

May all sentient beings be free from harm and danger,

May all be well and happy.

A message from Buddha:

Now

Now, how do I control others so they wont hurt me?

If you were to make me angry, it’s me who will get angry.

If you were to make me sad, it’s me who will get sad.

If you were to hurt me, it’s me who will be feeling pain.

But if there will be no “me”, there will be no “angry”, “sad” and “pain”.

So, it was “me” who created “angry” and “sad”, not “you”.

So, I control myself before I want to control others.

And controlling myself will surely easier in controlling others.

 

Now, how do I solve problems that is causing me sufferings?

I really see how much problems I have solve without going through them by just acknowledging them and letting them go.

It wasn’t easy… there are still some negative afflictions in me such as unhappy with this and that.

However, the same thing just applies, acknowledge them and letting them go.

 

I realise how easy I am distracted away from truth, when I just hold on to problems.

However, every time I am struck with such weaknesses, I just thought it was a great blessing.

To be able to practice the teachings and seeing how it works in my mind and my body.

Now, this is what I see…

I see construction in having power, I see destruction in power abuse.

I see life in faith, I see death in betrayal act.

I see respect in humbleness, I see rebel in arrogance.

I see sweetness in effort, I see bitterness in ignorance.

I see bridge within friendship, I see a river between enemies.

I see mankind in love, I see emptiness in hatred.

 

May all be well and happy!

11/03/2011

I am wondering and reflect on this since the past few days.

Wondering…

What if the next morning when I wake up, I was all alone and all my beloved ones are not with me anymore?

What if in just a matter of minutes, nothing is owned by me, except the dirt and debris left by the footsteps of gigantic quakes and wrathful waves?

What if when I open my eyes, the beautiful sky and the shiny sun is no longer greeting me but instead unmercifully glaring at me?

What if all these WHAT IF happen to me in reality?

What if all these are taking on me at this present moment?

I don’t know when. I don’t know how. But I know it’s possible.

When another side of the world is suffering, I see no reason how can I escape from such sudden unexpected event of life.

But,

Life can be so brittle that it is so easily shattered into pieces but isn’t this that makes it precious and should we appreciate it more?

Life can be so fragile but isn’t this that gave us the purpose of living, to fight and never gave up to this very single chance real-life game.?

Oh my dear brothers and sisters,

I see no words to bear your pain. I see no better prayers to ease your misery.

When I see into you, I see myself. Seeing how much I am always expose to danger and catastrophe in life.

And when I see how strong you are, it reminds me that we, humans can only face life and accept it at whatever circumstances we can ever imagined of.

Brothers and sisters,

Carry on life, as good as we will.

Brothers and sisters,

Appreciate our life, as good as they do.

Let this suffering a time for us to reflect the meaning of mankind once again that is to keep our self and others alive.

May all beings be safe from harm and danger.

Gong Xi Fa Cai

The intense heat of the coming CNY has been felt a lot even before I came back to Penang.

The decorations and music running everywhere in shopping complexes in KL at least heal some sore and pain for not able to immediately be back home for Chinese New Year.

Whatever it is, this year is slightly different for me. As compared to last year, we have the reunion dinner in the hostel while this year I couldn’t join the fun as I return earlier than the rest.

Memories of the Reunion Dinner last year

How time flies! When we just met in June 2009, now it’s Jan 2011.

Time is something not for anyone of us to stop, definitely.

But time is definitely something we can cherish and make it as much as possible.

This reminds me of the Great Day CNY movie when it shows 10 + 1 (you will know what I mean if you had watch them).

It is true. Human have limited time on this world. But, it is how much it has been used so that at the end of the day, we do not feel regrets and not satisfied with life.

My best time in life since I was in INTEC will be to be blessed with friends… ups and downs, yeah! But at least it wasn’t dull and stays the same every moment.

Friends are such as family when we are far away from home. Quarrels and misunderstanding is common, because that is what putting us together again. It can be long so long each of everyone in us still treasure this friendship.

Every time when I came back to Penang, I will always feel like not going out or meet my old friends (simply lazy and felt so good at home).

However, as soon as I return to Shah Alam, there are times when this people will cross over my mind and let me ponder upon some good times once together.

Life is just like this.. never being aware of the present.

As the saying goes again, “Do not be dwelling on the past, do not dream on the future”. It is true.

 

From the very old collection: A group photo with the National FAIC friends. That was my first time I learn more about Chinese School style of friendship. hahaha

Saying on that, for this Chinese New Year (last in Malaysia until many more years to come), I just hope I can felt the warmth and reunion atmosphere once more.

I asked my roommate to write the word “yuan”圆 (reunion) for me and I pasted them beside my study desk.

This will be the word for Chinese New Year, hoping that

The old generation will be in reunion with the younger generation,

Those far away will be in reunion with closed friends and family.

The poor and the rich can be in reunion and see no difference among each other.

The living ones will remember (it will not be a ‘reunion’ for this case) of the departed ones.

In short, let us put this auspicious celebration as a celebration of ONE, celebration of all.. to put the far to be closer together and may all rejoice in this one-ness.

Source: http://www.zestpj.com/general/gong-xi-fa-cai/

With this, Happy Chinese New Year and let this be a year of wisdom, compassion and happiness!

May all be well and happy.

Friendship

Upaddha Sutta SN 45.2:

One day, Ananda (Buddha’s cousin) was meditating. When he was awake from his meditation, he suddenly felt an intense happiness and joy overwhelming in him.

With a spark of understanding, he realised the importance and joy in a friendship.

Without delay, he went to the Buddha, the Enlightened Ones to share his realisation.

He implied to the Buddha, the Enlightened One that friendship constitute almost half of a holy life.

However, Buddha replied him, “Don't say that, Ananda. Don't say that. Admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life.

Laypeople and even monks, are all evolving around the circle of people. Good association between human beings are the key of peace

This has been a meaningful sharing I got from Brother Benny during a Dharma Talk today.

This reminds me of a bookmark that I got from the Buddhist Committee Member during the Dharma on Campus Camp.

In the bookmark, it is written there:

“Friendship is the only cure for hatred, the only guarantee of peace”.

-Buddha-

Perhaps, we have almost thought that Buddhism might be mostly all about mindfulness, renunciation, karma and any words Buddhism can be related with.

However, maybe we might have overlooked this simple yet important element in life which is friendship or in a more general meaning called human relationship.

Even when we observe the 5 precepts, we will know Buddha has emphasized a lot on human relationship.

For instance, how would we have observe the 5 Precepts of not killing, not telling lies, no sexual misconduct, and no stealing if there would be no other people or subject for us to act upon?

Therefore, Buddha has stated clearly to us that the very important purpose to observe the Precepts is in order to maintain a good relationship among people in the society. Only with that, we will find inner peace within oneself.

Again, this would certainly shows Buddhism has not rejected people relationship as most of us thought, when we always hear people saying Buddhism is usually about detachment.

Therefore, a good Buddhist will be not be getting rid of his friends, family and people around him but instead radiating the energy of compassion, love and well-being on them.

However, when we mean do not reject human relationship, we do not mean attaching to them as well.

I remember the book written by Ajahn Sumedho who said keeping a relationship attached and peaceful is by detachment.

This sounded confusing, as it will be hard to believe that we can practice detachment and attachment at the same time.

But after deep reflection, this is what I understand.

When we are attached to a friendship, for instance, when we found a friend which we really admire and love being with, we would always want to be with him, and expect him to do the same. This is desire. Therefore, as all beings subject to rise and ceasing, when we got to depart or perhaps, the other friend is not interested to be with us, we get disappointed. This is suffering. We got upset and hurt and we start to hate that friend thus creating a negative energy within us. This is the effect of attachment, and the cause is desire.

Therefore, attachment will only cause anger, frustration, jealousy, sadness and disappointment. We need to identify this cause to overcome sufferings.

On the other hand, it will be useless if we then prefer to just isolate ourselves in the cave or in a dark room and not communicating with others. This will certainly also lead us to loneliness and we might be also be blaming ourselves.

Therefore, attach to detach simply just state that by all means we can make friends and know whoever we want, we love them, we care about them and we concern about them. However, let us remember that there is nothing permanent including relationship. Hence, we will not have desire and we shall just let go of this relationship as the time comes. With this mindfulness, we have kept a harmonious mind and no negative afflictions will ever be created.

Friendship

Therefore, it is very important to be mindful and never be shaded by the shadow of temporary delusions. Holding on a subject too much without realising that it is subject to ceasing will just lead to personal sufferings.

Beauty is an illusion and is subject to decay and impermanence

This is the same in a family too. Parents nowadays have always love their children so much. This is not a bad thing, provided parents have the right understanding and being mindful. However, when they are not, their attachment of love has cause them to have the desire to expect their children to listen to them as well as to get a good score for examination. Therefore, the cause of loving is a desire and desire will only leads to suffering.

Therefore, Buddha’s teaching is universal and to the smallest matters we can always expect. Mindfulness is the only key and ultimate way to peace and happiness.

By putting all together, I have realised that I should not be afraid to be attached with friends, but I must remember that everything is subject to impermanence. If you would ask me what is the way of keeping a successful friendship or relationship according to Buddhism, this will be how I would say it.

As I am ending this, I felt I owe a lot to many Dharma teachers and Sangha for that teaching, directly and indirectly.

Many people have ask me, “What have I learn about Buddhism?”

I think my answer is, “I just learn about one thing- there is still many things I do not know and I need to learn them as much as I can in my this present life”.

May all be well and happy!